Cardiff City are without a fixture this weekend, as the FA Cup takes centre stage. It will provide a pause after a traumatic month and Bluebirds fan Josh Thomas says there is plenty to reflect upon.
After the final whistle at Southampton, relief soon turned into pure emotion, which felt more like the kind of normal football excitement no Cardiff City fan had experienced for some time.
In one of the most difficult weeks in the club’s history we had claimed back-to-back wins for the first time since April 1962 to help us move back out of the relegation zone.
Yet, just 24 hours earlier the investigators had confirmed that the body recovered from the wreckage in the English Channel was that of Emiliano Sala.
A few things came to my mind when that news came through. One was that it might bring some closure for those close to the man himself – his family and friends.
Then, a surge of anger at the sheer needless waste of life. Why was he travelling at that time? Why board that plane? Why the risk in poor weather, when they could have waited until the morning? So many questions and so many different outcomes that might have prevented such sadness.
I suppose we may never know the full account of what happened. It has torn apart one family on the other side of the world, but I also know how it’s affected me, the fans, and the club I support.
What was supposed to be an exciting time in the club’s history – the biggest fee we had ever spent on a player – was followed by probably the darkest period in the club’s history.
On Monday, I was at the Under 23s game with Coventry City – the first game at home since the confirmation of the death of Emiliano Sala. In the minute’s silence, with the daffodil on my coat, I reflected again on the personal tragedy of a man in his 20s and what it must mean to a family to lose a brother, a son, a cousin and more.
The other thing that came to mind was that as awful as this time has been, it has renewed a certain faith in football supporters in general – and maybe the game itself.
It’s easy to talk about the coming together of the football community, but it did actually happen. Fans travelled from other clubs to lay their scarves, to tell us how saddened they felt, to show their support.
Players such as N’Golo Kante and Kylian Mbappe helping to finance the search showed that footballers are perhaps not as selfish and self-obsessed as they are sometimes portrayed. They say a problem shared is a problem halved and that is how it has felt as a fan.
Other fans from other clubs – and other players – wanted to help and despite the tragedy there have been some positive feelings between fans who don’t often share much at all.
On the pitch, the Bluebirds have become united, they have become far more together. That was obvious in the victories over both Bournemouth and Southampton.
It felt as though the players knew they had a deep obligation to give everything and more – the best of their ability, their concentration and their last drop of commitment to the cause.
And now, we have to move on to the next game, then the one after, and the ones after that. Soon, it will the end of the season and we will be looking at 2019-20, whatever league we may be in.
We mustn’t forget what happened, but we should let it become a motivation to play on for now the in memory of Emiliano Sala and David Ibbotson.
Whatever happens between now and the end of the season will come as a small and insignificant outcome compared to what occurred on the night of the 21st January 2019 – a date that will forever be associated with the club and one that should never be forgotten.